I have had anxiety my whole life. Before I even knew what to call it, it was already there. It became so much a part of me that I claimed it, as just who I was. I held on to it as a part of my identity. All things that I believed about myself was connected to it.
So many negative thoughts, and I believed them all. No one else had to tell me because I had already convinced myself of who I was. Growing up, I didn't say much because I never thought I had anything worth saying. But there was a constant conversation going on in my head. A conversation that kept me quiet and talked me out of doing so many things.
I have so many memories as a young child of dealing with this voice in my head. I remember being in middle school and my mom finally allowed me to go skating with my friends from school. I had planned all week and couldn't wait to go. But when my dad and I arrived, I couldn't get out of the car. I asked him to take me back home, convincing Him that I did not want to go anymore.
No one knew it but there was a battle going on in my mind and the voice in my head had won again. I became so full of fear and anxiety that I couldn't move. My life is full of these stories. Starting from as early as seven and going through my entire adult life.
Let me tell you something about God. When I began seeking a relationship with God, there were many things that I asked Him to help me with. Sins that I was willingly committing, that I no longer wanted to do. Things about my life that I wanted to change. All kinds of things.
But when He filled me with His Holy Spirit, he not only fixed those things in my life that I asked for but He fixed things that I didn't know to ask Him for. My anxiety was one of those things. He took it away. In that moment I realized that it wasn't mine in the first place. It was the enemy, he had his hooks in my mind.
That is how good God is. He fixed it, without me even asking. The enemy still tries to take me back there. But I know now, that I have power over all of his tricks. So, when anxiety creeps up, I remember where it is coming from and I don't even entertain the conversation. I write, I travel and I speak. Often alone, in places that I have never been. Sharing my testimonies with any willing to listen, all because God has empowered me.
I feel like the enemy tried to take my voice but now I have something to say. Something worth sharing with the world. So, if you are dealing with anything that you believe is not of Him. Pray about it, give it to God and trust Him. There is nothing too great for Him.
Jeremiah 32:17 17Ah LORD God! behold, thou hast made the heaven and the earth by thy great power and stretched out arm, and there is nothing too hard for thee:
Jeremiah 32:27 27Behold, I am the LORD, the God of all flesh: is there any thing too hard for me?
Philippians 4:13 13I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.
1 Peter 5:7 7Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.
1 John 4:4 4Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world.